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Restart

There are two small index cards with quotations taped to the neck of my computer monitor. They are the first things I see when I sit down at the computer.  I put them there when I was going through chemo and radiation when god you’ll reach for anything to get […]

Goodbye, Stephen Hawking

I’ve mentioned before that I use this blog mostly as a repository of things I want to remember since, you know, chemobrain. Here’s an example.  I don’t know a black hole from a pot hole, but I know it mattered that he did. An extraordinary human (and fellow atheist) left […]

Monday Notes

Dear Maizie: I hope you, Emma and Ellie are running through some soft, high grass and stopping to discover new smells. I hope the sun is shining on your velvet head.  I hope you are eating those little cheese chunks you like and taking long naps under an old oak […]

We could use a little music, hm?

This morning I was dusting my computer keyboard with a cloth, pressing pretty hard on the keys, which opened up several apps at the same time.  (“Apps.”  They’re those things we used to call programs.)  One of them was iTunes.  My whole library of music started playing.  I hadn’t listened […]

It’s clear to me

October 2016 update:  No one with a medical degree told me the cataracts I developed  were from chemo.  I just assumed they were.  Until I started probing more.  I keep a journal of meds, symptoms, etc.  because I can’t remember what I took and when without writing it down.  Looking […]

Spot On

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Are you aware? Every day this month, one (or all) the cancer blogs I read profiles a person involved with lung cancer. Yesterday, Lisa at Every Breath I Take profiled Lucy Kalinithi, widow of Paul Kalinithi, a 37-year old neurosurgeon who died of lung […]

Now what?

Just when I was getting the hang of cancer treatment, it’s over. (And I always whisper to myself “yeah, for now” but you can’t hear me say that.) I had my last carboplatin/paclitaxel ritual poisoning two weeks ago. Thirty radiation treatments, five rounds of chemo, a clinical trial I got […]

Ellie

Run free my funny, shiny, stinky, goofy, bumpy, lumpy, nosy, slobbery, stubborn, happy, loud, bawling, bodacious, wonderful, beautiful, sweet, loyal, velvet-eared friend. So many more walks we will not take. I thought we would have more time. I’ll let all the squirrels in the neighborhood know the coast is clear.