During treatment last year at MD Anderson, I passed many idle hours in various waiting rooms holding awards shows in my head, judging the bald pates of fellow cancer travelers.
The Baldies. The Noggins. The GI Janes. I never settled on a name.
I started with a single category of Best Shaped Head, but depending on wait times or frequency of appointments or lack of any captivating reading material, I expanded the show’s categories to include Smoothest (least bumpy), Best Proportion to Ear Size, Best Head for Resting Glasses Atop, Most Like Sinead O’Connor, and speaking of Sinead O’Connor, Best Tattoo (surprisingly there was only one contestant for that one during the whole six weeks the awards were held), Best Skin Tone, and so on.
There were awards for head covers or hats, too: Best Overall, Most Whimsical, Best Use of Upholstery Fabric (a one-time fluke), Best Knitted, Best Configuration, Best What Were You Thinking with That One Girlfriend, etc.
I envisioned myself in a bouncy little Medusa ** number, but couldn’t find any retailer that sold head covers festooned with coiled snakes. Oh to be crafty with some felt and wire! [See update below]
Judging was exhausting. MD Anderson is a big place. So many heads, so many head covers. While the exercise served to kill time, it also made me realize that a well-shaped head or an attractive head cover can make all the difference in your attitude. Giving you that extra little kick of energy and confidence you might need, right before chemo and/or radiation pummels it back out of you. But for that moment in Camelot, you can revel in your pulchritude, saying to yourself, “My head is round and perfect. My head cover is stylish and smart. I am Audrey Hepburn at Tiffany’s. Bring it on, cancer.”
I do not have a well-shaped head, nor could I ever get the hang of scarves or head wraps, especially those clever ones with the knot on the side. Also made my arms tired trying to tie them on my misshapen head.
Had I included a cancer shlub category, I would totally have won.
** Update: Thanks to fellow traveler and master knitter Anita Figueras aka SciFiKnitter for the link in her comment below. She knew exactly what I meant when I said I envisioned myself in a head cover with snakes all over it. The link also prompted me to correct Hydra to Medusa.
Happy New Year! Grace, inspiration, peace, kindness and humor to all of you. I look forward to your comments and your blogs.
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