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DearMaizie

Spot On

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Are you aware? Every day this month, one (or all) the cancer blogs I read profiles a person involved with lung cancer. Yesterday, Lisa at Every Breath I Take profiled Lucy Kalinithi, widow of Paul Kalinithi, a 37-year old neurosurgeon who died of lung […]

Now what?

Just when I was getting the hang of cancer treatment, it’s over. (And I always whisper to myself “yeah, for now” but you can’t hear me say that.) I had my last carboplatin/paclitaxel ritual poisoning two weeks ago. Thirty radiation treatments, five rounds of chemo, a clinical trial I got […]

Dancing

This post has nothing to do with anything, just a particularly sweet memory that surfaced today. And since I got nothin’ else you want to hear about  —  unless you want to hear about the setbacks and side effects of cancer (and I assure you, it’s always something gross or […]

Petty and I Don’t Mean Tom

Petty and mean-spirited. It’s what I am today. People with cancer are supposed to be grateful and mindful and I am most of the time in my meditative-elevative state, but not today. I’m physically uncomfortable, missing home, itching from a drug rash, in pain from (pardon my indelicacy) a urinary […]

Vay-cay

Remember when I said I thought I was about to get my ass kicked? Well, I managed to ditch ’em with a few fake-out maneuvers. For now.   But it won’t be long before they catch up and prolly mad as hell, too. But that’s another day. You learn to be […]

Ruh-roh

I’ll be starting cancer treatment soon. Radiation and chemotherapy. Why do I get the feeling that I’m about to walk down a dark alley, on a moonless night, in a bad neighborhood, in a strange city, and a whole bunch of the town’s Baddest Gang members — all with chains, […]

Storm

Sitting at the computer reading and drinking coffee this morning, my phone rang at 9:30. Woman on the other end:  “Good morning. Is this a good time? ” Me gut-punched, recognizing the caller ID:  “I guess.” I knew why she was calling. “We have the results of your biopsy from […]

Promise

in spring in an open field barefoot in the diamond dew of morning we walk, our fingers locked your little hand, mine bigger silently, suddenly (what joan didion calls ‘the ordinary instant’) a narrow stream of water appears between us you on one side now me on the other bread […]